Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
