lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
