my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
