Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
