She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Come share oat with me in your robe
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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