We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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