and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
