It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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