but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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