Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
How's work?
Spinning.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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