Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
