i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
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At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.