Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Randomize
Follow @tfln