i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left