4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
