I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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