she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize