This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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