he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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