Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize