Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we're making bets on your personal life
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
