u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
