Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
