I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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