he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
