Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
