$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
