she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im holly from the hills drunk
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
