I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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