did you get engaged???
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
