Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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