what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
