I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
