a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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