I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My balls are so social today.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dick very happy bro
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.