just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.