Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The maid of honor just puked.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together