I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that