We got so high we made milksteak
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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