I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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