season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
