It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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