Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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