i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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