I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
