I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I understand Curling. That high.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
