My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
