Kiss
Puke
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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