This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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