sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
