I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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