it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
