planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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