They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
A+ Viking dick
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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