"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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