Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
