ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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