Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
