even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can't turn off my feet"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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