so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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