Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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