You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm like, not good at living.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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