She's the barista slut.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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