Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
