Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
