no you cant smoke seaweed
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
