no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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