I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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