i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There r osticjed everywhere
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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